Well, folks, we did it. The communications industry is saved again by the benevolent, fiercely competitive, and totally-not-government-coddled satellite sector. SES has officially been allowed to swallow Intelsat in a $3.1 billion move that’s being heralded as the biggest cosmic rebranding since Pluto got demoted.

Meanwhile, on that same piece of paper, T-Mobile bought some Midwest airwaves and metaphorically burned its DEI brochures in front of the FCC just to make sure Chairman Brendan Carr’s pen didn’t slip. And Metronet? It got folded into T-Mobile’s fiber family tree because someone needed to announce “fiber expansion” without having to mention actual network maps or broadband deserts.