The satellite communications world this past week resembled a wild tavern from a galaxy far, far away: old pirates nursing their wounds, ambitious young gunslingers flashing shiny new toys, and the occasional politician trying to sell licenses like used speeders. GEO operators, LEO aspirants, MEO holdouts, and D2D romantics all jostled for elbow room, each trying not to spill their overpriced cosmic ale. So, without further ado, let’s jump to lightspeed and break it all down.

GEO’s Midlife Crisis: Still Rich, Slightly Bitter

Intelsat, the classic grizzled veteran of the GEO elite, tried to stay hip this week by announcing its partnership with Eutelsat Group to “foster hybrid network innovations.” They basically agreed to hold hands and pretend they can both be cool enough for the LEO party without actually committing to exercise in zero-G. Translation: Intelsat and Eutelsat want to make “network of networks” a thing, which is just 2025-speak for “please don’t forget about us while you stream TikToks from space.”