Satellites Soar, Cash Tanks

You’d think a corporate report might lead with a joyous declaration of profitability. Instead you get a recitation of tiny victories dressed up in trumped-up superlatives. They crow about prepaid average revenue per user hitting “industry best,” yet fail to mention that every extra $ tacked on to those plans barely nudges the bottom line when underlying network costs still flow straight to their T-Mobile landlord. Then comes the obligatory pat on the back for churn reaching its “lowest level since 2013,” as if delaying phone cancellations by a fraction of a percentage point equals world-beating performance.