Alright Uncle Bob, picture this. You’ve got a company, Spire Global, that decides the best way to show the world they’re serious about growth is by selling off the only part of their business that actually made money, the maritime division. Like someone selling the only working car in the garage so they can invest in building a spaceship out of plywood and ambition. But don’t worry, they spun this as a “transformative milestone.” Debt-free, baby. No income stream? Eh, just details.

Now that they’ve cut off the steady revenue arm, Spire’s new strategy is to fully embrace the art of speculative optimism. They’re now all-in on space services, which is a fancy way of saying they rent out their satellites to anyone who wants to collect obscure data or run niche analytics from orbit. Weather data, aircraft path tracking, random radio signals picked up from space, if you can dream it, they’ll tell you how their constellation can help. And when I say “constellation,” I don’t mean stars. I mean their tiny satellites zipping around Earth collecting bits of information that hopefully, someone will find useful enough to pay for.