SES Satellites and Intelsat are going to throw the biggest space-sector wedding of the year, even though their guest list looks eerily similar. Two companies sharing almost the same orbit, same customer base and same bingo card of clichés about “operational synergies.”

They’ve spent millions crafting a marriage announcement that emphasises multiorbit coverage, bomber‑style resilience, and, just to sound edgy, LEO‑watching oligopoly warriors.

Yet beneath the champagne, the real star is debt. SES piled up roughly €5 billion in obligations to finance a $3.1 billion ring (that is a Huge Rock), and brought in a CFO from rocket‑engine land to smooth investors’ jitters. Who needs fireworks when you’ve got spreadsheets full of leverage?

Meanwhile, European regulators fired off questionnaires about Starlink, as if Musk’s thousands of LEO satellites should somehow wring their hands over two corporate geostationary geezers. The European Commission peered at fiber, LEO, and old-school broadcast competition, then shrugged and called it a day. Magistrates probably napped through the review, or maybe the decree came straight with a Betzdorf rubber stamp.

And what’s the agenda post-nuptials? Save Face in low-Earth orbit battles. Win government contracts. Show lenders that they can squeeze synergies like lemons, 70 % by Year 3, they say. Throw in a few software‑defined satellites, some LEO partnerships, and maybe convince Brussels they’re Europe’s trusty regional IRIS² provider.

All of which sets them up to pitch themselves as the continent’s satellite champion, all while racing to stay solvent in a world increasingly fascinated by faster, more flexible networks far closer to Earth.

Bride or groom? Flip a coin, they’re both walking down the aisle with matching fleets and a shared fear of Musk. But here’s the real question: is this merger a bold leap for European space power, or just two legacy players clinging to each other in zero gravity?

Drop your verdict, romantic union or strategic scramble?
Let’s hear your hot take before the next LEO constellation overshadows them both.