The satellite communications world this past week resembled a wild tavern from a galaxy far, far away: old pirates nursing their wounds, ambitious young gunslingers flashing shiny new toys, and the occasional politician trying to sell licenses like used speeders. GEO operators, LEO aspirants, MEO holdouts, and D2D romantics all jostled for elbow room, each trying not to spill their overpriced cosmic ale. So, without further ado, let’s jump to lightspeed and break it all down.

GEO’s Midlife Crisis: Still Rich, Slightly Bitter

Intelsat, the classic grizzled veteran of the GEO elite, tried to stay hip this week by announcing its partnership with Eutelsat Group to “foster hybrid network innovations.” They basically agreed to hold hands and pretend they can both be cool enough for the LEO party without actually committing to exercise in zero-G. Translation: Intelsat and Eutelsat want to make “network of networks” a thing, which is just 2025-speak for “please don’t forget about us while you stream TikToks from space.”

Meanwhile, SES continued to rehearse its “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” speech after its failed merger talks with Intelsat last year. SES made noise about “potential independent moves to strengthen its position,” which feels like watching a retired general sharpening their sword long after peace treaties have been signed.

Broader implications? GEO isn’t dead. It’s just going through an awkward “get a new haircut, maybe a sports car” phase while trying desperately to match LEO’s Tinder-swiping energy. The problem is that CAPEX is brutal, and most GEO players are still underestimating how fast D2D (direct-to-device) is eating their last-mile breadsticks.

LEO’s Relentless March: Smug, Shiny, and a Little Reckless

Starlink, aka “that kid who aced the group project but forgot to wear shoes to the presentation,” pulled off yet another milestone by activating its first maritime-focused laser interlink tests on actual cruise ships this week. In classic SpaceX fashion, the tests were conducted on an operational voyage with zero prior public notice. It’s like deciding to “test” a new parachute by jumping out of a plane mid-flight because, hey, “what could go wrong?”

Meanwhile, OneWeb (still mending its various battle wounds from last year’s regulatory soap opera) made a surprise play by announcing a joint D2D R&D program with Sony Mobile. In case you’re wondering, yes, this is the same Sony whose phones you forgot existed. OneWeb clearly believes that if you pair two underdogs together, they’ll spontaneously morph into a golden retriever of technological hope.

From a strategic standpoint, these moves signal that LEO players are growing increasingly cocky about bypassing traditional VSAT entirely. Forget antennas on ships or drilling rigs, the endgame is to stream “Succession” straight to your smartwatch while you’re stranded on a paddleboard somewhere near the Arctic Circle.

MEO: The Forgotten Middle Child Gets Its Moment

This week’s biggest “slow clap” moment belongs to O3b mPOWER, SES’s MEO poster child, which finally reached “limited commercial service” status after two years of “just around the corner” promises. Limited service is sort of like telling your friends you’re “technically” dating someone after three coffee dates: true, but a little sad if you say it too loudly.

The O3b mPOWER rollout means SES can now technically offer high-capacity MEO links for maritime, energy, and government customers without relying solely on older O3b satellites. But given the shadow looming over MEO, namely LEO’s absurd latency advantages and cheaper terminals, it feels a bit like upgrading to a VHS-DVD combo player in the age of Netflix.

Still, maritime players are sniffing around. High-throughput at sea without betting everything on LEO’s frequent-flyer program (aka rapid orbital decay) has its charms. If O3b can scale fast enough, they might just carve out a nice little “not too hot, not too cold” Goldilocks zone.

D2D: The High School Rom-Com Phase

Direct-to-device (D2D) tech hit new levels of melodrama this week when AST SpaceMobile launched its “BlueWalker 4” satellite, boasting “full 5G voice and video” from space.. AST basically promised to be the heartthrob that finally makes D2D work without you needing to install some weird app or dongle the size of a deck of cards.

In a move that feels like Ferris Bueller borrowing his dad’s Ferrari, AST emphasized that their tech uses “standard mobile phones”, an obvious jab at SpaceX’s still-kinda-hacky beta tests with T-Mobile. However, skeptics (aka anyone who’s ever lived through a “revolutionary” satellite comms pitch) noted that “initial operational capability” is still 18 months away, assuming nothing catches fire or spontaneously re-enters the atmosphere.

Real talk: D2D is coming. But “ubiquitous, affordable” D2D by 2026? About as likely as getting a mint-condition Millennium Falcon at a garage sale.

VSAT: Still Kicking, But Needs a Nap

VSAT equipment manufacturers had a “shrug emoji” kind of week. Cobham Satcom announced a new hybrid VSAT terminal aimed at “flexible LEO-GEO” integration. That’s right: antennas that can point at both dusty old GEOs and zoomy LEOs. Kind of like teaching your golden retriever to skateboard, adorable, slightly impractical, but better than extinction.

However, whispers from the maritime sector suggest ship owners are getting real tired of “future-proof” antennas that cost more than a new tender and still need a complete retrofit in 36 months. Many are quietly leaning toward short-term leases on Starlink terminals until someone, anyone,builds a truly universal, inexpensive solution.

Maritime Madness: Sailing Through Fog

The maritime sector overall saw a surge of “connectivity as a service” models. KVH Industries officially pivoted to subscription-only satellite communications for new maritime customers. No more buying hardware outright; it’s all monthly fees now, baby. Like Netflix, but if buffering meant you didn’t know where the iceberg was.

The hidden gem here? Insurers are starting to sniff around “minimum connectivity standards” for vessel policies. If your ship’s data link isn’t up to snuff, you might soon pay higher premiums. Yes, friends, satellite internet might soon matter to your hull coverage.

Reflections from the End of the Dock

As we stumble ashore from this chaotic week, it’s clear that the satellite communications industry is stuck between the swagger of a young Han Solo and the weary calculation of an aging Aragorn. Legacy players cling to relevance by courting hybrid models and “transformative partnerships,” while LEO startups march on with the kind of reckless confidence normally reserved for reality show contestants and discount airline pilots.

If there’s a silver lining (and there usually is, even if it’s just duct tape over a cracked solar panel), it’s that innovation is genuinely happening. Faster than regulations, faster than standardization, faster than the guy who sold you “future-proof” VSAT last year.

Sure, there are risks, orbital debris, CAPEX burn rates, market saturation, but if you’re reading this while your satellite-enabled device pings five different constellations to bring you memes, you’ve already won. Kind of.

Stay tuned, space cowboys. Next week’s adventures promise even more mergers, more surprise launches, and at least three more companies claiming they’ve “redefined connectivity forever.” See you out there, helmet on, sarcasm dialed to eleven.